Relationships: What Men Really Think

Last Wednesday, my friend Jarvis and I attended an all men’s meeting at his church. Jarvis’s church hosts weekly men’s meetings where men can comfortably express their thoughts and feelings freely.

At last Wednesday’s meeting, the topic of choice was relationships. In particular, the older men felt the need to compare and contrast past and present dating rituals. According to one gentleman, dating in the U.S. was very similar to dating in eastern countries. That is, a male suitor had to undergo the intense scrutiny of all the males in a woman’s family. In addition to that, he had to compete for the woman’s affection because, “there were always other gentlemen callers waiting in the wings.”

“If you were lucky,” the gentleman remarked, “you would win the woman’s heart, her hand in marriage, and her loyalty for the rest of your life. If you were the loser, on the other hand, you would have to choose another woman you ‘kind-of-liked’. As a result, you could spend your entire life lamenting over the fact that you lost your greatest love.” (You would have to live knowing that you would never have her.)

“At present time”, he remarked, “that scenario is invalid. Relationships only last 6 or 7 years at best. So, if you wait long enough you could have your chance to date or marry the woman as well.”

That’s when another man chimed in. “There may not even be a marriage! The woman is not a prize, she is a human being. As such, she may decide to engage in relations with you and another fellow at the same time. Her virginity is neither expected nor respected.”

“Face it!” he said, “there is no more one man one woman. Vaginas are more communal in nature.”

Did I hear him correctly, I thought to myself. Did he just imply that we now live in the era of the community vagina?